Well today was a day that deserved it’s very own blog post.
I think we have reached the point where I need to give you all a bird’s eye view of a day in the life of Emma….and about time really, because I have probably given you all the impression that I am a thoughtful, considered person who is always on time and never in the midst of an escapade or dilemma at all and walks around this fancy town with grace, dignity and style. It’s time folks for you all to be schooled..so lean in and look like you care.
It started like any other day.
I opened my eyes to my husband looking at me with adoring eyes, as I gracefully awoke from my slumber…well not so much gracefully.. or adoringly…more so with dribble on my pillow and bewilderment on my husband’s face as I realised I was looking more like bride of Frankenstein with an osteo problem than the Disney princess situation going on in my head.
I then went about preparing my morning prior to an important job interview. Important because we need the money ..important because my unemployed soul is slowly dying. Preparations consisted of the usual types of things I manage to get up to when left to my own devices. Locking myself out of the house and kicking my toe. Dropping my phone several times, attempting to wrangle the cat resulting in blood being drawn, the nail polishing of toes …and carpet..and walls and yes somehow the ceiling, an outfit disaster leaving me looking like Bjork in a power suit, only one earring to be found of every pair I have ever owned and a nudie run through the house due to a situation only I will ever know of and take to my grave. Oh yes and I also managed to ‘body polish’ myself and somehow not with the sugar scrub sitting on the shower floor but ajax instead..
I then, with the attention span of a mosquito, decided to spend an hour of my morning sorting through my extensive lipstick and hair pin collection and staring out the window at that weird log in the back yard.
All of this is run of the mill stuff for the ‘kooky’ heroine of this sad tale.
This ajaxed, polyestered kook in question then decided however, that today she would not stop there, but instead push the envelope just a tad more and take her hijinx up a notch.
She decided 20 minutes before needing to leave the house for her important job interview, after taking a good long look at that log, to go stare in the mirror for a bit and review every hair and pore on her face…and so pick up the tweezers she did.
Now there wasn’t much to gasp at in that innocuous sentence, because the tweezering was actually going quite well, but slow.. and so it dawned on me that I had a half price box of wax strips I was saving for…well..you know…’summer’.
And so the quick ripping across my face began ..packing a firm punch to the brows and getting me on the road.
I now present to you all exhibit (A). (you can gasp now)
OK OK, quick look away…it is too hideous and manacled.
Luckily I had enough time to style my hair with now a full fringe to hide the massacre. Unluckily, in another bout of vagueness whilst picking up some scissors on a sunny day in front of the bathroom mirror.. my fringe is now not as full..nor as straight as it should be for an interview determining my fate.
I can report I got through it with only a few strange looks from the receptionist, but that also could have been because I grabbed the wrong heels as I dashed out the door ..distracted by the rubbing of sorbelene cream into my wax-sticky, red raw brows. I managed to grab a pair never worn before…never worn because they are a size too big.
It meant I had to awkardly and slowly make an entrance like some special needs, new born foal.
I was very relieved to get home and put it all behind me and hope tomorrow is a little quieter..and safe.
I also think I will grab hubby and head on out for dinner somewhere with the option of a very large glass of wine.
Footnote….actually tomorrow will consist of a beautician appointment..a very early,
urgent morning appointment..that I will probably have to beg for or promise at least my first born child to.